


Three's A Pattern

by respoftw



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Dubious Science, Getting Together, M/M, Ridiculousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 17:22:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8925769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/pseuds/respoftw
Summary: One's an incident, two's a coincedence and three's a pattern.In which there is sleepy Rodney, naked Rodney, injured Rodney and lots of unexpected John.





	

Rodney sighed happily as he crossed the thin line between sleep and coffee, content for seemingly no reason at all. The dream he'd been having shortly before his alarm clock had interrupted him was fuzzy and fleeting, not much more than a few blurred images and the faint rememberence of warmth. He stretched absently as he made a half hearted attempt to recall the dream in more detail and promptly let out a squawk of fear as his arms bumped into something solid. Something that had absolutely not been there a second ago.

"Dr. McKay, report," Rodney's radio was still in his ear and he fumbled for it as he leapt out of his bed and grabbed at the closest likely weapon to brandish at his attacker. His....very asleep attacker. Which was really just as well considering the only thing within reach was a box of tissues and a tube of lubricant. Rodney's heart rate started to settle as he got a closer look at his surprise bedfellow.

John Sheppard snored gently into Rodney's pillow, his hair flattened in places and, if possible, even messier in others.

"Rodney!" Zelenka's voice rang insistently in his ear. "We have just picked up a huge energy spike coming from from your quarters. Please report."

Satisfied that he wasn't about to be brutally murdered in his underwear, Rodney flicked his radio in answer. "Nothing to panic over," he hedged, "but do me a favour and see if there was a corresponding spike of energy in the Colonel's quarters."

Rodney could hear the tapping of keys in his ear as he kicked the evidence of last night's happy time under his bed before John woke up and saw it. After a few seconds he heard Zelenka hum in confusion. "Do I want to know how you knew that would be the case?" Zelenka said.

Rodney smirked, even if there was no one there to preen to, it always felt nice to be proved correct. "Because I'm watching him drool into my pillow as we speak."

"Rodney," Zelenka's voice had suddenly gone hushed as he hissed quietly into Rodney's ear, "this is an open line."

Rodney frowned, wondering what the hell Zelenka was talking about. Of course he knew this was an open line, what the hell did the Czech - -

"Oh, for the love of - -," Rodney threw his hands in the air as he bemoaned the idiocy of his staff. As if he could ever get that lucky. "He just appeared there. Probably right around the time you noticed the energy spike. Get your mind out the gutter, Radek."

Zelenka cleared his throat, an unpleasant sensation when it sounded directly in another person's ear, and Rodney was relieved to hear a more professional tone as Zelenka started to fire questions at him; none of which Rodney could answer.

"What part of I was asleep do you not understand?" he snapped. "I woke up, alone, then suddenly there was a snoring Colonel lying next to me."

"He snores?" Radek sounded gleeful.

"And his pyjamas are all black," Rodney snorted in amusement. "And, honestly, if you thought his hair was ridiculous when he was awake, you should see it now."

"Is he injured?" Radek asked. "Perhaps Atlantis has some previously unknown trasnport function for medical emergencies?"

The idea made about as much sense as any Rodney had been able to think of. Which was to say, not much. "Why wouldn't he just appear in the infirmary then?"

"I do not know. Perhaps the rooms you are in used to have a different function. I am just trying to cover all bases."

Rodney sighed long-sufferingly "Hang on, I'll check."

He inched his way closer to the sleeping Colonel, suddenly very aware that all he was wearing was a pair of tired boxers and his blue science tshirt that he hadn't bothered to take off.  Swallowing his nerves, he poked at John's head. "Wakey, wakey Colonel," he sing-songed.

John slapped at his hand with a grunt, rolling over and taking Rodney's covers with him. Rodney should have guessed that he would be a cover hoarder.

He was fairly sure by now that John was uninjured so he allowed a hint of amusement to creep in to his voice. "Come on Sheppard. Call yourself a soldier? What happened to being alert for danger at all times?" Rodney reached out and grabbed at John's arm. And then promptly landed on his ass as Sheppard's fist connected with his cheekbone.

"Rodney? Rodney?"

Rodney was too busy groaning and clutching at his face to answer Zelenka. He pulled the radio out of his ear and threw it at John.

Frowning, half crouched in front of Rodney, John tentatively brought the radio to his ear. "Someone wanna explain to me what the hell is going on?"

* * *

Twelve hours and one infirmary visit later, no one was any closer to figuring out what had happened.

"Come on Rodney," John kicked his feet in the air as he hopped up to sit in Rodney's desk. "Let it go. You could spend the next month combing through that damn database and still not find out what caused this. We've all got more important things to worry about. I mean, it's not like anyone got hurt."

"What the hell do you call this?" Rodney squeaked as he pointed at the swollen, purple bruise on his cheek.

John winced sympathetically. "Yeah, I've told you I'm sorry about that, right?"

"Yes," Rodney admitted. "A few times."

"Well," John hopped off the desk and straightened up, "let me say it one more time. This time with pie. I heard the latest crops from PX7-5Y9 had a fruit that tastes just like strawberries."

Rodney knew when he was beat. "Fine," he said, snapping his laptop closed, "I'll let you buy my forgiveness with pie."

John grinned, ushering him out the lab. "Thatta boy."

* * *

Of course things were never that easy. Not in the Pegasus Galaxy. Not in Rodney McKay's life.

* * *

One moment Rodney was enjoying a leisurely shower, the hot water pounding the aching muscles of his back, the steam clearing his sinuses after a long, wet mission and his right hand stripping the length of his cock in a very satisfying manner and the next a very clothed and suddenly very wet Lt. Colonel was standing in front of him.

He's not sure who shrieked louder, him or John.

It didn't help that John's feet went out from under him as he suddenly found himself moving from a dry, flat corridor to a wet and slippy ceramic tiled floor from one step to the next. It definitely didn't help that the nearest thing for John to reach out and grab to retain his balance was...well, John would definitely need more than a pie to buy his forgiveness for that particular injury.

* * *

"So...I might have been a little hasty when I said that we could let this one go," John admitted.

Rodney glared at him from his position on the infirmary bed, a pack of ice held firmly against his groin. "You think?"

"Does Radek have any idea what's causing it?"

"No," Rodney grumbled. "There was the same spike, one in corridor C and one in my..bathroom. No warning, no build up, just bam." He sighed. "I hate the Ancients sometimes."

John huffed in agreement.

Rodney shifted uncomfortably on the bed, aware that the ice wrapped in the towel currently pressed to his aching groin was starting to melt.

"Here," John held out a fresh towel for him which Rodney took gratefully. He was even more grateful that John turned his eyes away while Rodney switched towels. Ice was no man's friend.

"So..." John interrupted the slightly awkward silence. "I, uh, maybe have a theory."

Rodney raised his eyebrow in interest. "Let's hear it then," he said.

"Well, bear in mind that it's just a theory. It could just be a coincedence, don't they say you need three for a pattern?"

"Just spit it out."

John scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed. "Well, uh, what were you thinking about just before it happened?"

Rodney stared at John unbelievingly, glanced down at his towel covered groin and then back at John pointedly. "What do you think?"

The tips of John's ears flushed pink but he soldiered on. "I meant, was there anyone in particular you were thinking about? What about the first time. You said you were dreaming, right? A good dream? Maybe it was about someone in particular."

It was Rodney's turn to flush. Ok, so maybe he had been thinking about John in the shower and it could be possible that his dream was about John; his best ones always were. But if all it took was thinking about John for him to appear then, well, John would be permanently attached to his hip.

Yeah, he knew he had it bad and if the way John nodded was anything to go by, he knew now too.

"If just thinking about someone triggered this subroutine or whatever then - -"

"What if it's not just one sided though?" John interrupted. "Just...imagine that you were thinking about...me in the instant before the..whatever, and then imagine that in that same instant I was thinking about you."

Rodney had heard crazier theories. He mulled the idea over. "So, you think two people with the ATA gene could transport directly to the other's location if they both thought about each other? Why would the Ancients program a routine like that?"

John shrugged. "Why did the Ancients build a machine that made exploding tumors or an Ascension machine? Why did they do half the things they did? They were crazy."

Rodney huffed in agreement. "So, are you saying that you were thinking of me when..?"

"Are you saying you were thinking of me when - " John nodded his head towards Rodney's crotch.

"We need a third test," Rodney decided, changing the subject and admitting that he had been at the same time. John looked pleased by the admission and it took all of Rodney's concentration not to laugh giddily.

"Our quarters, 1900 hours?" John suggested quietly. "I think of you, you think of me?"

Rodney nodded, not trusting his voice.

John smiled. "If it makes you feel any better, I can even the odds this time?"

"You're going to let me injure you?" Rodney asked, confused.

John smirked. "Not what I had in mind."

Dr. Keller chose that exact moment to check on him and John used the distraction to escape with one last wave in Rodney's direction.

Rodney turned to Jennifer. "Please tell me you have something Ancient that can reduce the swelling by 1900 tonight?"

* * *

1859, how could it possibly still be 1859? There was only so long Rodney could recite pi in his head until he went demented. All he wanted was for the clock to change to 1900 and - - _finally_. He let his mind drift towards John. John soaking wet and dripping hard and - Rodney choked on his own tongue as John appeared naked and grinning in front of him.

"Three's a pattern," he smirked.

Rodney found his voice just in time to yell at Zelenka through his radio. "Yes, yes, I'm well aware," he snapped (even if it had lost some of its usual bite), "we're conducting an experiment. I'll speak to you tomorrow."

John grinned. "I'm an experiment, am I?"

"Shut up and c'mere," Rodney groaned.

"With pleasure."

 

**Author's Note:**

> As always, you can find me on [Tumblr](http://buffycuddlespigs.tumblr.com)


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